one last paper

just noticed it's my 200th post. wow.

the past week has been pure MADNESS. four papers in six days. not that i haven been thru worse, but when everything that you haven studied for are cramped into one week, then that's really called craziness.

fna was disastrous as mentioned in the previous post. and so are legal on tues and stats on fri. legal wasn't TOO bad, and om was ok too, but none of these papers felt the same as when i stepped out of the exam hall last sem for all my papers (except marketing lar). felt so different. for EVERY SINGLE paper, i stepped out knowing what i could have done to secure more marks. wth. seems like my aim of cap >=4.5 is unattainable, as much as everyone around me tells me that results arent out, so why am i worrying so much. but i cant help it. it's not that i'm scared of not doing well. it's just that i feel i didnt do the best that i could for all the papers.

went to see doc on wed, after one year of not doing so. medicine doc gave seemed to be stronger med, cos i got better after eating it for one night. but of cos my condition sorta worsened a little on thurs cos i refused to eat my medicine that day, for fear of not being able to concentrate for the next two morning papers. ah well. i think this shud be the first time i fell sick during exam time. sigh.

and ytd i slept the least amount of sleep i ever had before any exam - 3 hrs. forced myself to reread thru all my om notes after meeting raheem at the playgrd near my house cos the first three papers were just too bad. so have to rely on om to pull my grade up. HOPEFULLY i get reasonable grades for all lar. ah well.

now that all my core modules are over, i feel a sense of loss. i feel like i can celebrate already, yet i dun want to start celebrating even before my last paper. but i have no idea what to do/study, so i end up in front of my laptop. next three days will be pure ss mugging. wow.

i'm gonna miss 28th invest. argh.

i suddenly thought about how disillusioned i am about friendships in uni. on bus journeys, i keep thinking to myself how 'disappointed' i feel about some friends i made in uni. not that i'm in a position to actually BE disappointed, but i realised how i actually overestimated so many people
and thought they were 'good' friends, but time has proven otherwise. and that some are just putting on a mask, and if that's obvious, it's really bad.

i keep thinking that some friends are not worth making. sigh. when have i become THAT untrusting of people around me.

one last paper before freedom, before play, before meeting frens, before ibiza, before bangkok, before foc, before rag. i shall survive and be disciplined.

effects of medicine have taken place, i shall go sleep now. night.=D