reality

Isn’t it so cruel when everyone around you tells you that you have done well except for your own parents? Home doesn’t feel like home anymore, cos since that fateful day, dad has been giving me the cold shoulder, frowning whenever I talk to him. Now it has become a home that I don’t want to be in. now I understand why people would want to stay out the whole day. I guess sometimes my mum is also in a very difficult spot. I’ve become more moody ever since that day, and my dad doesn’t want to talk to me. it’s not like I have the power to control what he thinks. Nobody does, actually.

So sorry have been talking about results for the past few posts.=X

Thanks ja! For still having that confidence in me!=) I guess sometimes friends are a lot more comforting to talk to than my own family. and like i said in my comments and i'm gonna repeat it here again, the happiest people are the ones who have experienced the greatest pain [after they get over the trauma of cos], cos it's only then will you be able to know the true taste of happiness.

Just now, MG, the general manager of bosch, Malaysia, called me to clarify some questions that I asked over email [I’m such an idiot when it comes to automotive parts. But then again, there are SOOOO many that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand the whole automotive industry.=X]. he’s quite a nice and helpful gm. After talking about work-related stuff, he asked me about my grades. When I told him my grades, he just went “eh AABB you still say not good ah. Dun insult me leh. I got AAB last time” [btw his “last time” meant about 15 years ago. Haha.] then, he laughed and said, “oh but yeah we’re in different leagues lar. In rj you’re surrounded by those smart people. Unlike me.” But my colleague told me that he was promoted super quickly, and he was actually a “talent” from nus biz school. Wow he wouldn’t have imagined I know so much about him. Haha.

Had my first-ever tuition lesson on wed. Dylan is quite a cute child actually, just lazy. He took quite some time to wake up after I reached his house lar. Heh but I suppose it wasn’t as bad as I thought cos we focused on math then and it was algebra, my favourite. Dun ask me to find LCM and HCF, cos I totally forgot how to. And the physics was ok too, heat and heat transfer. Though I smoked my way through a little after looking thru his textbook. today was amusing though, cos he was SOOOO distracted and couldn't wait for the lesson to end. i need to be a lot more strict with him.=X

Busy, busy week. [I’m actually typing this post at work. That explains all the capital letters. Haha.] have been preparing scholarship application stuff, and at the same time, preparing for tuition and FTT. But at least I think life is better now cos it’s more enriching. At least I’m doing a lot more things, and stepping out of my comfort zone. i’m quite worried for my first driving lesson tmr though. Need to look thru my advanced theory book before I go for the lesson. If not I think I won’t even be able to start the car at all.=X

Am trying to arrange some outings, including a buckle alumni one, and a small khs gathering. Shall hope things will eventually turn out great. i wanna meet up with so many people but dun have the guts to do so, and time, actually.

argh. i dun have any motivation to do anything. i'm quite sick and tired of trying to strive for the best. i think i was a lot happier last time.