downhill

Oh my, the last few days have been super hectic. Had been having intensive 8am-to-9pm days for the past two days cos of tuition [omg Dylan is getting super irritating!], as well as for today and tmr. but at least I’m looking forward to tonight’s and tmr night’s dinners.=) finally the army guys are back from tekong and they get a two-week break after 3 months. Haha. That explains the next two dinners. Heh.

I’m seriously in deep trouble lar. My advanced theory is progressing nowhere. Don’t even get the time to read through the book properly.=X ah well. Maybe I shall take leave next week to do uni applications as well as study for advanced theory, though I’m not sure if I’ll be successful in my request.

And anw after the whole Saturday issue with my parents which blew up to quite a big issue, my parents actually went to buy me the hp the next day, while I was at nus open house. But of course I’m paying for the phone myself. And I heard it was my dad who got my mum to buy the phone for me. Maybe they felt guilty, or just didn’t want to see me close my door everytime I’m home.

But nevertheless, it’s the most expensive phone in my whole family so far. But I’m totally loving it, except for the msging system which I’ll prob get used to after a while, and the calendar which only allows 50 anniversary dates to be saved! That totally limits my birthday entries! Argh. Ah well. But I still love my phone. And I accidentally scratched my phone while I was damn sleepy and fiddling with the charger, and gosh, I feel damn xin teng.

Talking about nus open house. Jun and I were rushing for the usp talk. I think usp is quite an attractive program. But I really dunno if I’ll even stand a chance of getting into the program, with my results. And double degree is almost impossible, cos according to the person, I need at least 3As even before they look at my application. Shall see what to do when the time comes. Hai. Shall apply to ntu and maybe smu just in case.

Kong qiu qian by lin yu zhong is damn addictive. Keep replaying the song in my ipod. But the song isn’t released in singapore’s market yet. I only found it cos I was looking for his dui diao, which I can’t find anywhere online. kong qiu qian is the theme song for an ou xiang ju which is a collaboration between hong kong, Malaysia and Singapore. I want to watch the show! But judging by how late I’ve been reaching home these days, and I don’t even get to watch the Miracle, I think I can seriously forget about it.

Thanks kim, dani and nadjad for still having the belief in me. “start believing in yourself before others can believe in you”. Sometimes I’m just so disappointed in myself that I dun think I’ll ever have enough belief in myself. But really, it’s through this period of time that I can still feel the love and concern. Thank you.

Looking forward to many outings the next two weeks. OG outing on Saturday, prob another mahjong session, an outing with cherry, and prob jr, buckle alumni dinner, and a softball match which I can’t play cos I won’t be able to make it for the training this Saturday. All these remind me that I still have a life, despite all the things that are happening at home, and the conflict within myself.

It’s amazing how many times I’ve been breaking down these few weeks. Downhill is just the right term to describe my current state. It’s like, wu lou you feng lian ye yu. It says a lot when everywhere you go, you bump into things that you do not want to, and when you start having negative feelings whenever you're alone. But I shall believe that everything will yu guo tian qing, and I’ll see the “light” again soon. It’s weird when I can’t even seek comfort in a song like ni guang, by sun yanzi, when it’s supposed to be a song which brings hope to people.