thank you..

special thanks to jun and ja for making me feel much better after my outburst on thursday night. it's amazing how i recovered after that night cos i woke up on fri morning feeling as if nothing had happened (though i found my lights and laptop still switched on in the morning cos i just fell asleep while crying). i wonder if my emotions on thurs were totally exaggerated, but i really felt like shit (as crude as this sounds). sometimes i admire myself for being able to hide all my emotions within myself especially in social occasions (like in school or in public), but this ability has led to random outbursts which is probably not very healthy.

i guess i dun like to be the centre of attention and i feel damn weird if not-so-close people suddenly show their concern. it's like, i'll feel weird if i say i'm not feeling well then suddenly everyone asks me to go rest. weird rite. but i really dun like it. it's always sweeter when people do small things to try to cheer me up or make me feel better.

the whole 'love is in the air' atmosphere during vday never fails to make me feel loved and unloved at the same time. loved because you'll have friends giving out presents to you and sincere wishes from them. unloved because these presents are also given out to so many other people (of cos this doesn't dilute the love from them, but i guess sometimes you just want to be the special friend kinda thing) and of cos also due to the absence of a bf. and you'll just tend to admire others cos the day is made so much more special with the celebration. then you'll wonder 10 years down the road, will it still be the same.

i can't wait for the week to be over. one week of break is very much needed at this current moment cos of the lack of sleep for the whole week. and with the upcoming week being as busy as the one that just passed, i highly doubt i'll have the ability to survive another of such a week. even though the break is not exactly a break with stardust and probably many other things to do, at least it's still a break from lessons. i'm rather glad i've been keeping up with my studies thus far and doing all my tutorials faithfully. i hope i can keep it like that, even though with such a schedule for the next month, i'm rather doubtful. i'm still keeping my fingers crossed though.

i had fun ytd. even though i woke up VERY late for meeting (i was supposed to leave house at 8.30am, but i woke up at 8.40am). was only 15 mins late for the meeting though. the amount of things to do for stardust is rather scary, but i'll definitely try my best. it's, after all, my very first major event commitment in bizad.

i went down to city hall for council gathering. started by kboxing at marina (i was quite disappointed when i couldnt find lai bu ji by hebe=X). i was really shocked when the kbox staff chased us out by 6pm and said the ending time is decided by them. like wth. since when was that implemented. ah well. went to olio for dinner with another group of councillors (the kbox gang was TOTALLY different from the dinner gang except wesley and i) and at one point it was 7 guys to 1 girl. they persuaded me to stay despite my attempts to leave cos i said i wanted to mug. they were like, why go into biz if you mug.-_-. then xinling came. and jun called from london!! i was so sad when i missed her first call then she called again! sorta passed the phone around and talked to her till her phone credits died on her. but was REALLY good to talk on the phone with her cos i haven done so in ages.=X she said i sounded happier. heh.

ok i'm supposed to be mugging for my ss mid term which is tmr. i have a written assignment to hand in and a presentation to prepare for law tmr. i wonder why i'm still here huh.