vicious cycle

wei she me wo zong shi you tai duo de hua que shuo bu chu kou. wo shi ge nuo fu ma? hai shi wo ying gai bu yao xiang tai duo. you shi hou wo zhen de huai yi wo lai dao zhe shi jie shang yi dian yi yi ye mei you. xiang yao dai gei wo shen bian de ren yi xie kuai le, zi ji que shi na me de zi si. qi shi wo yao de bing bu duo, wo zhi shi yao yi ge ren, jiu yi ge ren, zai wo shen bian pei ban wo, yu wo fen xiang ta sheng huo de dian dian di di, er wo, ye neng zai shi luo de shi hou yi kao ta, gao xing de shi hou ye you zhe me yi ge ta fen xiang. zhe, ye xu jiu shi wo zai jin nian zui xiang shi xian de yi ge yuan wang. dan, zhe ge yuan wang, wo xiang shi hen neng shi xian le.

wo xiang wo ke neng ye kan tai duo xi le ba. zi ji zhi hui yi zhi xiang xiang ru guo wo you na me yi ge jing tian dong di de ai qing. dan you ke neng ma? wo zhang zhe me da, dou mei you zhe me yi duan mei li de jing li, jiu suan shi wo bu xi huan de ren you zen yang, bei ai zong shi xing fu de. wo zhen de ren wei jiu shi yin wei zhe yang, wo dui zi ji cai yi dian xin xin ye mei you. dao xian zai wei zhi, wo hai shi qiao bu qi wo zi ji.

wo zhen de, zhen de, qiao bu qi wo zi ji.

sorry if you have absolutely no idea what i was typing about. it wasn't meant for anyone to understand that. maybe this is the best way for me.

west end meet's postponed till august. oh ho.

got ssa1201 too. i REALLY hope it won't pull down my cap again. i can't afford to use another s/u.

been clearing my variety shows by bringing my laptop to work. it's a great time killer.

i wish i could have a week of free time all to myself before school starts. sigh.

2 person in 2 days told me that they have confidence in me that i'll do well despite my commitments in sem 2. why do they have more confidence in me than i have in myself? or maybe i just like to underestimate myself? but of cos it's great knowing i have friends who have such faith in me. but it adds on to the pressure definitely.

i think my mood's always in a vicious cycle. it swings about, but i nv really get out of these rather negative emotions. i need a breakthrough perhaps.