content vs ambition

been getting some free stuff these days.

from dylan's mum after my very first lesson after his exams:
- 6 donuts
- 1 packet of pungol nasi lemak
- 4 fried chicken wings

farah is back from australia! nice meeting up and chatting!=)
- one box of chocolates
- one bottle of sweets

i'm actually quite close to peiying, the starhub person at millenia walk. she has so far treated me to 3 donuts, while not earning much. so funny, everyday we just stay in the shop and complain about how boring it is.

i think you'd prob think i'm some money-faced individual. heh. whatever lar. just wrote the above to indicate the niceness of some of the people i've been meeting.=)

been coming across some weird customers, and some that i really got quite angry with. but i shan't write it here.

and having quite a fulfilling week.
mon: tuition
tue: met farah after work
wed: met farah before work=P
thu: supposed to meet buddy but grandbuddy and him cant make it last min.=X hope he's having a great time at italy! might meet jun there!=)
fri: tuition (supposed to have west end meet meeting at smu, but couldnt make it. hope it'll be fine working with this group of people.)
sat: stardust meeting, council outing, 6h outing (madness, but good thing i dun have to work)

and back to work on sunday. FULL shift from 11 am to 9pm on 24th, 25th, 30th, 31st dec. hai tragic case. festive season still have to work. HOPE the pay will be doubled.=P

so funny how the other four keep complaining about daniel. HAHA.

i was just wondering if it's better to be contented or to be more ambitious. people keep saying we should zhi zu, being happy with whatever we have. but yet, from young, we're told that we must strive to excel in everything that we do. there's always this contradicting voice. just take for eg my A level results. i can be contented with my results, yet there was this voice in me telling me how i shouldn't be and must actually work even harder to prove people wrong. so which direction should i go?

there are times i just wanna give up fighting for the best that i can achieve, like getting a concurrent degree in nus. but yet, i know i can't give up cos it'll give me a better resume. long term vs short term view? maybe the solution is to do something that i'm interested in, but that's just so vague. interest doesnt mean it'll sustain, and without this sustained interest, we'll be considered fickle-minded. so just what is the best thing to do? to fight, or to choose a simpler short-term route that makes me happy but everyone else unhappy?

i guess it does depend on the kind of situations i face. but it always isnt an easy decision. especially with the stressful education system in singapore, choosing the 'happier' way would mean giving up our 'future'.

at times, i'd find people who are ambitious very irritating, like they'll just keep fighting, and they are all perfectionists. i dunno if i feel this way because i am envious of them, or it's simply because i dun think they should behave like this. like how you'll always envy people whom you're not, then this envy sometimes turn into dislike simply cos you can't be like them, and hence psychologically pulling yourself away from such character.

sometimes i can't stand myself for thinking and saying that i dun bother much with academic stuff, but yet i'm actually secretly thinking about how i should try to score well.

i feel slightly over-brainwashed.