sudden realisation.

i had already switched off the comp, turned off my lights and about to go to sleep. then suddenly i felt an urge to blog, and so here i am.

i realised that i can't make new friends simply by having a few days of interaction. for me to even keep in contact with friends, i think i need more than a few months of interaction before i actually know the people well enough to keep in contact. even then, i might not even do so. there are just so many examples to justify that. the exceptions are people who take initiative to do so.

just from jc days onwards. ahsayuni, buckle-buckley, council, softball, 6h, at bosch, and even the most recent life-four project. throughout the last few years, although i made a lot of friends, i would think i won't even keep in contact with 1% of these people. there are just so few people whom i will meet up as a smaller group to catch up. maybe as a big group yes, but definitely not as a small specific group.

as i look through the life 4 blog, i realised how great an extent this is true. everyone is like meeting up, tagging, msn-ing, smsing. but i would say i haven't made a single friend through the 6 days. acquaintances maybe, not friends who will stay. i'm probably just looking at the surface, but i guess it already shows how "un-friendly" i am. i guess i'm someone whom you will talk to comfortably, but not confide in or talk to for long periods of time. boring, maybe? i do admit i'm a rather dull person i guess. i just can't help it! i'm a damn bad conversationalist.

which is why i think i might not be happy in uni. cos social networking is so important in uni. you actually have to go out of your way to make friends.=X i hope i won't have to. hai. i realised, too, that i dun go for "in-between" friendships. friends are either close to me, or rather distant. there are no above average. i guess it also stems from the fact that i'm damn introverted, and i open up super slowly. i should think i only have myself to blame? ah well.

our hotel stay in guangzhou is still not confirmed! wth! 24 more hours and i'll probably be preparing to get to the airport! hotelclub is super duper ultra inefficient!

tuition today was..ok. dylan was DAMN stoned at the beginning. when i came in, and gave him work to do, he only just kept staring at the book. i looked at him, and said, "if you're going to continue like that, i'll just go off. there's no point carrying on with the tuition if you're like that." i didn't mean it in a scary way, but i think he got rather scared, and he woke up quite a bit after that. heh. so whole lesson basically we weren't doing much, cos he was so stoned. but his mum bought something for me from japan! omg! didn't expect it at all! they really treat their tuition teachers rather well huh. heh.

they had life four dinner at the same time. told shiyun i would go if she went. but she couldn't make it, so decided not to waste money but instead go for tuition and earn money.=P in any case, i'd have felt SUPER extra anw, so i rather not go lar.

having breakfast with buddy david tmr! then going to school with cynli and prob meet up with buddy hongyi! j2s jiayou!! i know the feeling of endless mugging. not easy but fight on!!=)

i wonder if i shud offer some help to zl in nyjc for his studies. kept thinking about his "sos" sms a few weeks back, and was thinking maybe i shud help a lil. ah well. hopefully he does well enough lar.=X

lunch with cynli tmr. meeting josie to discuss tripod stuff and thereafter facil training at touch at bukit merah till late. good thing i packed my luggage today, if not i wouldn't know how i can survive coming home so late and going to the airport at such an unearthly hour.=X

guangzhou and hk here i come!=P