softball!

omg i can't believe how unfit i am now. i was really damn tired during the match just now. i wasn't supposed to play lar, but they didn't have enough people, but had enough equipment for another player, so...

was really damn scared. cannot throw, cannot catch, cannot bat. and when you're on the field, everywhere's dangerous. warm-up batting, i got hit by shu's ball. and omg, there'e a big bruise there now. been a LONG time since i get such bruises on my legs. haha. am actually quite happy that i played. it's an experience to relive past memories, and of cos to exercise.=) but i didn't contribute to the game AT ALL. got striked out, and no balls came my way. so....i was a redundant player. haha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHIXIAN! glad she was touched by our surprise.=D had dinner with the other three, and we really talked damn a lot! opened up a lot more than normal. i guess sometimes you just need an outlet.

but it's after such talks that you realise what you're missing in your life. i guess i was never really happy with my life, though contentment is a virtue. but i dun see anything that i can be contented about. yes people may say i expect a lot, but sometimes the things that you want may not be the things you get, and the things you get may not be the things you want.

sometimes an emotional reliance is good. but yet, i know of the hurt that it has brought to me. wait till it's even possible.

cruise or vietnam? argh. so hard to make a choice.

a list of what guys should do to girls from zx's blog. oh man. i TOTALLy agree with it.

1. fight on her behalf when shes being bullied.
2. piggyback her.
3. b v cool on the outside but show concern for her in subtle ways.
4. know whats she thinking esp what shes worried abt.
5. ruffle her hair.
6. be a bit shy sometimes so she knows the impact she has on him.
7. but be bold at other times when she needs some reassurance.
8. smile at her in a different manner.
9. carry her in his arms when she faints.

n the most impt.
10. treat her like shes the most precious thing on earth.

sometimes i just wonder if it'll even be possible to meet that perfect guy. it's just that things have been so horrible that i can never imagine something good that will happen to me now. like what i told zx just now, i think there's really nothing i can think of that can make me truly happy now. except the impossible.