when...

when you're supposedly watching a show on tv but yet not aware that your mother has walked past the tv to sit beside you.

when you can stare at a person talking but yet dun even hear what he/she is talking about.

when you can sleep for 7 hours and yet still feel lethargic when you wake up.

when you feel so irritated at anything and anyone that comes along.

when you can lose your wallet and only realise it 3 hours later when someone finds it.

when you feel as though you have tried your best but the results that come out of everything seem to prove otherwise.

when you feel totally like shit when your dentist tells you, "sorry gotta wait another 2 more months before your braces can be removed cos i'm going to study"

when you feel as though time is accelerating and not at constant speed.

when there are times that you feel like giving up but yet you are still accountable for your whole group and have to drink red bull to carry on.

when you just totally forgot the birthdays of your close friends even though you keep reminding yourself to wish.

when you just feel like crying whenever you are alone, and just before you sleep.


then you know you are really drained.


thanks to all those who have shown concern. your every little action, no matter how small, matters a lot to me, whether i show appreciation or not.

thanks also to bro who waited for me to come home so that i didn't have to eat dinner alone, and thanks for staying in school to study to wait for me so that he can drive me home too.

sometimes i do hate the world for leaving me in isolation. but i do realise how lucky i have been too. it's just that luck comes in places that i dun need it for, but when it is sorely needed, it's never there for me.