why...?

i cried in the bus again...

maybe long late night journey home induce tears in me.

or maybe the stress from projects and exams is making me emotionally unstable.

whatever it is, i really hate myself.

why am i so short-tempered?

why am i so elitist?

why am i STILL so horrible at expressing myself?

you know sometimes i really feel like i have no true friends around me. i was so pissed off just now but i just couldn't find anyone to call, so i ended up thinking too much and bursting into tears.

sometimes what i want are not solutions to my problems when i confide in others, i just want a listening ear. it never works to rationalise my emotions with me, cos i do that hell lot within myself. it just happens that it never works for me.

一声“我懂”对我来说真得很重要。

but some friends just make me feel worse about myself.

at the end of the journey, i was thinking to myself, "what do i possess?"

and i concluded that i have nothing.

now i sorta get why people get depressed or even think of suicide.

and as always, something made me feel bad about thinking about all these again.

Stay the Same by Joey Mcintyre started playing in my ipod.

Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same
Cuz there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.

I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.

Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through.