=`(

am seriously quite pissed and upset at the same time right now.

i really am trying to balance. but when one is physically demanding and the other one is mentally exhausting, there is an inevitable compromise in quality.

i'm no robot. if you think the combination shouldn't pose such a problem, then i'm sorry i have disappointed you.

maybe you have overestimated me. maybe i have overestimated myself.

it's worse when there are just small little things you do that NEVER ever get recognised, and all you get, are people showing black faces, dropping not-so-subtle hints.

i know i have disappointed, and i'm really sorry. but there is really a limit to my capabilities and i have to admit it.

the worse thing is that, when people are not obliged to do anything, and when they offer to help, the least you can do is to be nice to them. when you've scared off the people, even if you need damn a lot of help next time, nobody's gonna run to your rescue. people are not your slaves.

i really regret it. the only thing i've learnt so far is how to manage anger and suppression.

i want my own personal time and space.

i broke down in the bus just now. i really really can't take it anymore. it's all indirect arrowing. i'd very much rather the arrows come straight in my face.

i walked in the rain just now. i really didn't care if i'm gonna fall sick or not.

that's why i love my freshies. they really are the ones who have kept me sane throughout this whole period. special thanks to sherlyn for listening to my complaints, and for sending that sms that made me cry further, but that was cos i was really very touched.

there is a reason why i'd rather not stay there. sometimes it's good that he/she dun keep blaming others, look within yourself and reflect first.