reality vs expectations

gosh i've been slacking for the last two days AGAIN. like i didn't touch ANY work at all. oh my at this rate my studies wont be up to expectations again. i think i just love sacrificing my studies for other things huh. jc like that, seems like it's gonna be the same in uni. AHHH! self-control.

fri went shopping for farah and dong's presents. only managed to get farah's though.=X need to find another time to shop for dong's. hai really dunno what to get him. then went back to school for subject pool and farah's bday surprise. i was SOOO dumb can, but this is a little secret between farah and i.=P

headed down to orchard to meet ja and cynli after that. it's always so relaxing with them. can just hang around and won't feel bored. cynli looked at my ic photo and she laughed like mad. my photos are HORRIBLE can.=X anw hung around till 10 plus before i took a bus home. nice and packed day i had.=)

sat was relaxing day. watched 200 pounds beauty with mum. (i know i'm damn lag) it's quite a sad show even though it's a comedy. like the extent to which girls would actually go to to improve how they look, and in the process sacrifice so much more. i suppose looks is not just a superficial thing, but it also affects your confidence as well. i've always been wondering if i would be much more confident if my looks are better. i really dunno. i just can't portray that sort of confidence.

after that went to farah's place to prepare the food for bbq. luckily i was there seriously. farah didn't know what to do with the stuff at all, esp the sotong and the chicken chop. heh. spent quite a long time marinating the stuff, after which dong picked us up to michael's place. bbq itself was ok, but of cos the company was better. sotong was quite badly done=(, but i thought the chicken chop was good.=D some of the guys got dunked into the pool, and it was amusing watching the 'show'. stayed at michael's place till around 2am before cabbing home with farah.

xiong di with amy today. show's quite cool, though it feels like just another hong kong police and gangster show. at least i had discount with my nebo card.=P shopping was great too. i always end up spending a lot when i shop with amy, i have no idea why. bought 2 tops, 1 cardigan, 1 pair of flats. AND i pierced another two earholes on my right ear. was debating whether i shud pierce one or two more, in the end decided on 2. ear was burning after piercing, even now too. parents haven seen yet, wonder if they'll be shocked to see. haha.

jogged with bro just now too. always feels good to exercise esp after not doing so for so long. yowie was quite shocked i actually run at night. night jogging is so much better than day jogging i feel. the atmosphere gives jogging a kind of feel, like you can start thinking about a lot of things, then after the jog a lot of things will be sorted out. but of cos we didn't jog for so long. somehow my stamina feels better with someone accompanying me, maybe cos i dun feel as bored. bro said the pace was too fast, but i thought it was fine. i still had enough strength to chiong up the slope at the end. heh.

i hate myself for thinking so much. it's like i know once i start thinking too much, my expectations rise and disappointment will be great, but i just can't help it. and most of the time, reality falls short of my expectations. then, i know that i deserve the sadness that comes with the disappointment.