contentment

i think i always need reminders to tell me how much i already have. thanks ja once again, just that there's always a tendency to fall into such emo times once in a while, and the whole cycle will repeat itself.

i guess i'm quite a lucky person, in some aspects, but yet i think i'm a greedy person too. seems like i'm not pleased with what i have currently most of the time. or maybe because i dun usually get what i really want. i'm never quite contented with what i want, i wonder if that's a good or a bad thing. good in a sense i'll always try to improve my current state, bad in a sense i'll never be happy.

i guess it's not that i dun understand myself well, it's just that i always doubt my own abilities, underestimating myself, rejecting to do tasks just because someone else can do it better than i can and i dun want people around me to laugh at me because of that. excuses you may say, but it's truly what i think. i never really undertake tasks that i know in my heart someone else can do better than i can. (isn't that self-doubt?)

ah well. no matter what, i should still learn to be contented. that should make me happier? or maybe it's just another reassurance to myself. hai.

had a video call with jun ytd or the day before. it was SOOOOO good to be able to see her and to hear her voice once again! oh man. though it was a rather short convo, i was instantly made happier. the power of friendship!=)

i find myself being such an evil person sometimes, to the point that i really can't stand myself.

the past week have been quite wasted. with no tuition, i seem to be super free everyday. people prob want to kill me when they see me being so slack the whole time. cant even recall what i did the whole of last week.=X

ooh i drove for the first time! it was so great! drove all the way to tampines ikea where i practised my driving last time. it was so fun chionging at 90km/h and seeing mum holding on to the side of the car. heh. my parking is still....ok i shan't say. heh.

oh and i got 87.6 for ms. i guess i really shud have gotten a lil higher grade, but i shall be contented.=)

dong sent me home ytd, and on the way we passed by alexandra to get the avocado shake. bought 4 cups to bring home. really heavenly.=P

and...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONG!

surprised him at the dining room today. first bday surprise after school started. so fun. reminded me a lil of the jc days. heh. well, really hope he enjoyed the day.

then marketing meeting. after tmr i'll be free of presentations for this sem! we almost got a heart attack when we knew we have to submit a written report. cos almost all the groups met or are meeting at least once every week, but our group seems to be so free. efficiency? i really dunno. was quite impressed by the presentation slides and the amount of work andrew's taking for the project. he seems to be doing everything himself. and he managed to find so much info it's scary cos i really couldnt find any info! ah well. some people are just zai. dean's list in bioengine leh. though he said it's the easiest course in engine to get into dean's list, but ah well. took a bus home with him just now and we were just thinking back on those pri sch and jc days. so cool. like at this time of your life, you seldom actually look back.

how i wish time would fast forward to after mkt tmr. i hate presentations. but i gotta learn to love it cos you cant escape from it in biz!=X

thanks to ja again, i'm watching huan huan ai. and sleeping at 4am, 3.30am these kind of timings. nvm i'm gonna finish watching it soon! and pls hope that i wont start watching another one.=X

stupid blogger dun allow me to post photos. another time ba. back to mkt. argh.