pissed.

i think life these days have been a routine but more exciting.

maybe because my parents were in vietnam, get away from all that nagging when i come home.

and maybe because i get more time for myself, to walk slowly in the rain, to think about things as i walked to work, as i travel on the buses, and as i watch some dramas.

i was super impressed by this bus driver. seriously. there's always this visually-handicapped person who will board the bus at a certain stop, and alight two stops later. everytime he gets onto the bus, the bus driver will get out of his seat, and help him to a seat before he goes back to drive. today, he even gave him an umbrella as it was raining when he alighted. i was really quite touched. and you can see like whenever elderly people get onto the bus, he will wait for them to sit down first before driving off. and if someone stands to alight while the bus is still moving, he will drive more carefully. really appreciate the people who take pride in their work, seriously. i think not many are like that, esp in the service industry.

just thought i should find a place to compliment this driver for taking those extra efforts to look into the mirror every now and then to make sure everyone is fine on his bus.

anw mum and dad came back from vietnam, and they bought back so many dri-fit shirts. omg. it's really quite cheap lar, but i dun really wear them very often these days.=X ah well.

i have no idea what's wrong with me now. i can't even bring myself to say a "thank you" to them. it's like, i'm so used to being rude and heck-care towards them that i can't even act emotional in front of them. i just can't bring myself to. it's so obvious the change in two of us when all i do is to say sarcastic stuff to them, and all bro does is to make them happy. used to be the opposite. sometimes i'm changing so much even i am scared of myself. i want so much to return to the past when i still do sweet stuff and be nice to them. nowadays, i just think, what's the point of being nice. i'm going to end up the most miserable by giving in to them all the time.

i think it's the effect of not saying anything in 19 years and suddenly everything just exploded. hai.

only thing that is probably making me proud is my driving. my instructor even went to tell alvin that i'm a good driver.=) and he commended me for being so good even though i only took a few lessons. heh. although i think when i panic, nothing good will come out of it. and my instructor scolded a security guard for cycling without looking out for cars (and i almost knocked into him) and the guard actually scolded him back! haha ended up i was listening to him complain about night cyclists who dun have lights.

i have no idea why i have such a strong reaction when bro was complaining about the govt. i think he's too anti-govt for his own good. seriously, i can't stand it when people complain without thinking about the rationale behind the policies. yes some stuff are too expensive (for him it's the coe prices and the fact that he just got summoned) in s'pore, but that's how s'pore has been developing. sometimes he really gets on my nerves simply cos he doesn't see beyond the surface of things, only concerned about the immediate feelings. i was most pissed when he said, "if i'm in govt, first thing i'm going to cut is the transport costs and destroy ns, then everyone will be happy and thank me for it." OMG how naive is that. i just told him, "then you go be govt lar." he thinks he's that good, but i can't stand people like that. no wonder his temper is so horrible, cos he doesn't consider the other pov. he's lucky jy hasnt seen the angry and TOTALLY unreasonable side of him. totally different person in front of her and us lar. can't stand it sometimes. and everyone thinks he's an angel and i'm a devil.

so be it, i'm beyond caring.

you know how's life is like when my parents came home from vietnam, and scolded me for being at home when i shud be working (i took half-day to rest), when they scolded me for not sweeping and mopping the floor, for not recording the shows they asked us to, all these while being SOOOO DAMN nice to bro. they are all shared responsibilities for goodness sake! they NEVER fail to scold me for not doing anything, but give excuses for bro whenever he doesn't do anything. even talking about it makes me pissed. even when i was arguing with him about the govt thing, my mum asked me to shut up, cos she doesnt want him to flare up.

SERIOUSLY, LET HIM GROW UP. STOP BEING SO PROTECTIVE OF HIM.

then mum will be upset whenever i talk about her showing favourism. and always cite examples like, me being fetched to school/work everyday, they paying for my lunch, etc. they just think i'm some materialistic person. ask them when they have shown me some real concern. i mean like yes i know they DO care for me, but it's irritating when they never understood what i really want. it's so tragic when i just sit at the dinner table and keep quiet. i dun care if i'm the loner at home now. i really dun, cos nobody else cares.

talk about me spending money when bro spent over $50 on petrol alone going all round s'pore when my parents were away. my mum just doesn't bear to scold him.

AHHHHHHH!!!!

i hate the feeling of not being appreciated, and being taken granted for.

____________________________________________________________________________

i shall cool down.

i wanted to walk alone, slowly in the rain while walking to work, in the end jackson came with an umbrella asking if i want to share. in the end couldnt have a relaxing walk. but yeah talked quite a bit as well.

then went for lunch and talked to the two new interns. one from nus first year and the other ntu biz final year. one is a smoker who asked me if i wanted to smoke with him. he seriously reminds me of SOMEONE. the over-friendly and thinks he's cool kind. but actually he's quite nice lar, just can't stand his style at times. the ntu one is a lot more matured. he's those kind you'll find him more and more handsome as time passes. HAHA. but yeah he talks a lot more sense, and humorous in the right way. i think he'll be a high-flyer next time. too bad he's taken. heh. both are attached lar actually.

but yeah work has been better cos of them i think. the small chats and the sweets. more matured topics as well.

FINALLY it's the weekend!!! much much anticipated weekend. ora tmr (actually i dun really feel like going. damn lazy), and meeting on sunday, and prob lunch on sunday too. i seriously just feel like lazing around at home.

nus still haven sent me anything. my parents are bugging me to go to the ntu tea session, saying that i shud have a backup if i really didnt get into nus at all. sometimes, i think their worries are uncalled for.

i dun wanna stop working at bosch.....though i wish i have more leave. can't even find time to go out! ja cynli and my schedules like totally clash. hai...

27th council invest on wed. time FLIES...

wanna post pics, but still waiting for jun to upload.=X

and appeal for art materials, children storybooks and clothes! do your part for the khao lak trip!=)