stressful working life

it feels weird with so many guys in ns now. people online seemed to have reduced by half, and somehow there's also a significant reduction in the number of conversations. this is so sad. miss all the crap from the msn convos.=(

work has been stressful. jaslyn keeps emphasizing that i only have 2 weeks to learn everything from jessica, and the reports are so hard to generate! data are extracted from documents all over the place, and all the checking is making me mad. plus it doesn't help that the system is so confusing and i didn't know how to use excel.=X i felt so bad that i disappointed jaslyn because of that. she was saying she shouldn't make such assumptions anymore. school prepares us for word and powerpoint bu never excel. or maybe i'm just too IT illiterate.=X

nevertheless, it has been a good experience for me. two days of work, and i've learnt so much. and the people there are all so nice! people whom i dun even know or dun even work with will also walk past and smile at me and say hi, and some others will be carrying kuehs around asking if the rest want to eat. everyone is like a family, and so nice to each other. so different from ges. i guess working in an mnc is really quite a good experience, and i'm glad i am working there now.

but work is definitely super different from school. somehow, jun's sms today made me miss school a little too, and doesn't help that i can see rj from my desk at work! and today when i went back for bb's party, talking to val about jc life just made me miss school life a lot. all the different experiences, and the friendships forged through the 2 years. jc is probably the best time of my life so far. working just forces one to grow up faster, cos nobody will help you if you dun. a part of me still wants to retain that sort of innocence in school life, like you can just dun care about everything and be yourself.

i'm starting to lose confidence in myself again. it seems like i can never do anything well.

i dun understand why i have to give in to you all the time. i'm tired of trying to make you happy.