argh.

that's why i HATE asking my dad for allowance.

"you have to learn to control your spending.", "when you have a job, you can't rely on us for money already." yes IF i have a job. but the thing is, i dont have a job, and i dont have an income. how the hell do you expect me to have money? i've been tapping on my own reserves since god-knows-when, and i can tell you, i'm almost bankrupt. AHHH..

i'm seriously SERIOUSLY pissed. yes you want me to get a job, earn my own money and dun ask you for money. but you have to be reasonable about it first. here i am, waiting to go KL, and you ask me to go call up some company tmr. how the hell am i supposed to go for an interview? they'll just ask me to call after i come back. do you think i dunno what i'm doing? do you think i want to just idle around the whole day and not do anything? if you dun want to spend money giving me money, then lock me up at home lar. dun come and nag at me the whole day giving me all sorts of weird logic.

if you want respect, you got to earn it first.

i dun deny i am a spendthrift. but i haven spent much since prelims, and i still have problems. and you expect me to pay for EVERYTHING myself. how am i supposed to cope? yes i owe mum and bro money and dun return. but it's not that i dun want to return, i dun have the means to return. now, i dun even dare to buy anything excess, except for meals, and occasional games. isn't that normal? ok maybe to you, that's wasting money.

yes you can complain and scold me all you want about being rude to you, and i'm seriously not going to care anymore. why do everyone assume i'm always the bad person here? i'm never right, and i never know what i am doing. i'm always the childish one, always the unreasonable one. nothing i say makes sense. i dun contribute anything to the family at all, i'm a useless person who is a parasite and leeching on the family finances. if that's what you think, then i really have nothing much to say already.

you're always right, and i'm always wrong. happy?

shall blog about happier stuff next time. not now.